take time out, burning the candle at both ends results in less candle and a diminished capacity to care

what’s real to you is made of chocolate for someone else, allow for differences in perception

de-medicalise where you safely can, we have a tendency to try to fix things that is often counter-productive


you’ll get great medical support, but you’re the only one who knows the whole person…don’t be afraid to stand your ground 

being cheerful all day long is hard if you’re doing it for someone else, try to find the fun in things for yourself

food, glorious food, it’s the best medicine but it’s also a channel of communication, an enduring pleasure that transcends even dementia

paying attention to your own needs is not a selfish act or a luxury, it’s an absolute necessity if you want to  care for someone else effectively

sing, dance, laugh, play the fool—there’s no virtue in making care a serious business, even if it is…try to carry your responsibilities lightly 

fresh air…do whatever it takes to connect with the great outdoors, go to the park if you can, if you’ve got a garden use it, if you can’t get out, open a window and let nature come to you    

it is quite impossible to over-estimate the importance of cake…all cakes, any cakes, any time, and a decent cup of tea, for the ritual and the pure amuse bouche, life on a plate




more soon…